Though it’s been almost a year now, Shriver’s divorce case from her estranged husband still hasn’t been resolved yet. According to documents filed in Los Angeles County Superior Court, 70 year old George Lazenby is now challenging a prenup agreement he signed before marrying the 46 year old Shriver, and asking the judge to award him $16,133 a month in spousal support.

Lazenby claims is that Shriver is “30 times a millionaire” and he doesn’t want to explain to their three young children why their mother has such a larger pair house than their father.

The initial 95 pages of court documents between Shriver and Lazenby were littered with declarations, emails, and third-party accounts. Shriver said that Lazenby has a “severe anger management problems, is an alcoholic and has poor parenting skills and is a risk to my children.” Among her finer traits, Lazenby claimed Shriver takes a ‘nightly’ cocktail of prescription painkillers and sleeping pills with alcohol that leaves her ‘in a stupor’, hurled a couple of golf clubs at him, and spent more time focusing on her Blackberry than her little ones.

During the course of the long proceedings, Lazenby rolled out a long-lost “love child” to testify about what a great dad he is. He was later granted visitation rights to his kids after quitting the drink, attending AA meetings, parenting and anger management classes, and submitting to random drug testing as much as 6 times per month (pdf, scroll to page 9).

That was, of course, until he decided that his few years of lovin’ Pam was worth some “appearance money” to show his kids their dad wasn’t a broke-ass tool.

Lazenby’s acting credits include a one-time shot at playing James Bond in the 1969 film On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. His performance was generally regarded as underwhelming: “Many felt that he is physically convincing but looks foolish in his many loud costume changes and delivers his lines poorly.” It couldn’t have been easy though. Recall that Lazenby replaced Sean Connery who was in Goldfinger featuring Pussy Galore.

It should be noted that Lazenby is in fact a millionaire himself, so his request for financial support seems excessively greedy and unlikely to succeed. When you enter into a prenup, both parties list their assets and debts as part of the agreement, and each person is aware of the other’s financial situation. Lazenby and Shriver married in 2002, and it’s pretty unlikely that either person’s financial situation has radically changed since they signed the prenup, making it even more unlikely the court will set aside the agreement.

But good luck with that old man.

Former 007 Wants Money Galore from Wife [TMZ]
Shriver-Lazenby Court Order PDF [via RadarOnline.com]
Divorce Saga: Shriver and Lazenby trade charges [Tennis Backcourt]
James Bond star Lazenby claims estranged wife is in ‘nightly’ drug stupor [The Daily Mail]
Love child stands by George Lazenby [Perth Now]

Andy Murray recently got a little border terrier and it appears that the pocket pooch has revealed some “issues” since moving in with the Scot and his girlfriend Kim Sears.

Maggie’s already been having “bladder issues” all over Murray’s new £5M home. Another time she got stung by a wasp (no word on who was bigger).

Now the poor thing has started eating rocks.

A pet ambulance was dispatched to pick up the pooch from Murray’s house and an X-ray revealed that she’s been “eating mouthfuls of rocks” in his yard. Since they’re too big to pass naturally, vets had to operate to remove them from her digestive tract.

You may be asking yourself: Why would a dog do this? Well, one “reason for dogs rock eating are mental problems such as anxiety or stress”, usually brought on if the dog is left alone most of the time. Say, if you’re out on the tennis tour and your girlfriend is at school all the time. For example.

The cure? “Spending more time with your dog will probably help.”

Or he could simply educate her on proper rock-eating techniques so she’ll fit in better.

Andy Murray and Maggie: One Man and His Dog [Telegraph]
Andy’s Pet Scare [The Sun]
Why Do Dogs Eat Rocks? [PetPlace]
Does Your Dog Eat Rocks? Here’s What to Do [Gomestic]
Eating Rocks [UrbanDictionary]

The “As Seen On TV” gold meltdown factory Cash4Gold that solicits bags of your unused jewelry and coins in exchange for a bit of cold hard quick cash is looking to melt down some Wimbledon trophies.

The company, who had formerly hired the now-deceased Ed McMahon and MC Hammer to star in a spot for last year’s Super Bowl, put forth an invitation today hoping Roger Federer and Serena Williams were hard-up or tasteless enough to appear in the next Cash4Gold commercial.

Or at the very least, to get an appraisal of their Wimbledon trophies.

“Cash4Gold is pleased to invite these two tennis legends to appear in a Cash4Gold commercial, and we would be glad to provide them both with free appraisals of their hard-earned trophies. In fact, tennis champions and tennis fans everywhere are invited to contact us today so that we can help you turn your broken or unwanted gold into cash.”

— Cash4Gold CEO Jeff Aronson

Obviously there’s an intentionally ironic element here, given that both Hammer and McMahon are famous for their serious financial woes, while Federer and Serena are two of the most highly-paid athletes on the planet. Times are tough and all, but realistically, if they’re looking to shake down someone for some Wimbledon trophies, wouldn’t they be better off going after Bjorn Borg?

The company recently pulled the same stunt with the Lakers championship trophy, which they appraised at $3,500; and the Stanley Cup, which they said would pull in a yawning $7,500.

It’s obviously a totally legit enterprise:

Did anyone reach out to Roscoe Tanner or Mark Philippoussis? Runner-up trophies have to be worth something….

Cash4Gold Invites Wimbledon Champions Serena Williams and Roger Federer to Appear in Next Commercial [Business Wire]
Cash4Gold values Lakers championship trophy at $3,500 [Yahoo Sports]
Lord Stanley, your Cup doesn’t runneth over [USAT Game On!]

Great tennis players have to have great timing.

Rolex, the fine Swiss watchmaker, has an outstanding relationship with their tennis ambassadors. Two of them, Federer and Roddick, will play against each other on Sunday in the final of The Championships, Wimbledon.

What better way to celebrate than to offer up the much sought-after Rolex theme music?

People have been loving and looking for the theme for years.

I was one of them!

This year is particularly poignant, as Roger Federer goes for his sixth Wimbledon trophy and to advance beyond Pete Sampras in Grand Slam wins. For Roddick, this is a return to glory: just one year ago, the one-time number one suffered through a crisis of confidence after a second-round shutdown on the British grass.

I scoped it out the other day and found out that although it’s an original piece composed specifically for Rolex, someone decided to mix all of the ads together to create a video.

I extracted the music and you can listen to it here.

Not only is it a beautiful score, but it’s excellent theme music as you rev up for what promises to be an incredible match.

So, you’re in London during the Wimbledon finals and you find yourself with an empty glass and a free evening.

What’s a person to do?

As if the answer wasn’t obvious:

Get wasted and watch midgets play tennis.

To celebrate the Wimbledon finals, a club in London is hosting the “John McEnroe Garden Party” on July 4th from 10pm until dawn.

Johnny Mac clearly has nothing to do with the event, but they’re tossing his midget name in there “cleverly” as a draw. For whatever reason Mats Wilander or Bjorn Borg weren’t “hip” enough for these guys.

The club is turning their outdoor party terrace into a tennis court with a full lawn and staff dressed in Eighties-era tennis gear, including super-short shorts, sweatbands and visors.

The main attraction of the evening, and the part you’ll want to be really buzzed for, will be the midget “McEnroe tennis match”, whereby two highly-talented tennis playing midgets dressed in full McEnroe outfits including afro wigs will challenge each other to a game using over-sized racquets.

As if this offer wasn’t enticing enough, the first 200 ladies get in the club for free. For everyone else, the cover is £8.

Mania for Andy Murray has reached epic proportions in the UK. Not only did the BBC scored unbelievable ratings for his fourth round match last night, but people were already queuing up to snatch tickets to his next match before that one had finished on Centre Court.

Nearly 13 million people tuned into BBC1 last night, as the network cleared its usual prime-time line-up to air the almost four-hour fourth-round victory over Stan Wawrinka live under Centre Court’s closed roof.

The network’s move was rewarded with a 54% share of the available TV audience, which are numbers usually “only seen when England’s footballers play in the World Cup or European Championships”.

Though this figure doesn’t include the roughly 1M fans who tuned in to watch the match on BBC HD online, it was only “half a million fewer than the 13.1 million who watched last year’s final between Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer”, and was the biggest weekday television audience number in Wimbledon’s history.

Hundreds of people also began queuing up two days ahead of time to get a chance to watch the young Scot play in the quarterfinals at Wimbledon, while his fourth-round match against Stan Wawrinka was still taking place.

Wimbledon officials were forced to create a separate line for those queuing up to get a shot at seeing Murray’s quarterfinal on Centre Court against Juan Carlos Ferrero apart from those seeking tickets to Tuesday’s women’s quarterfinal matches.

First in line for tickets was Vasilisa Alexender, 19, from Moscow, who arrived at 5:30am on Monday for the chance to see Murray:

“I was amazed that I was first, but now there are several hundred behind me. I love the Russian players and Roger Federer, but Andy is such an exciting player to watch. His match against Wawrinka was fantastic. Andy really fought to win. I watched it on TV at somebody’s house in Wimbledon village after they invited me in. All you could see was the flickering of TV screens from people’s houses.”

TV ratings: Andy Murray’s five-set Wimbledon victory peaks at 11.8m [Guardian]
Andy Murray’s Centre Court epic is a TV hit [Times Online]
Two-day queue to see Andy Murray quarter-final [Evening Standard]

The early-round tournament entertainment has really spilled offline. Andy Roddick, who took out Igor Kunitsyn in his second round match today, had to answer a slew of questions about Rick Astley.

Later, Roddick Tweeted (or in his case, Twatted) about how he feels like he’s now ‘answering more questions about Twitter than about tennis’.

That’s cuz they’re stalking you, homefry.

Like this dude points out, the media covering Wimbledon so completely lacks originality that they seem to have nothing else to talk the tennis players about.

The worst offenders, though there are many, are probably definitely the on-air staff at ESPN, none of whom are actually on Twitter. In a live interview with Roddick on ESPN2 after the match, they pulled up his Twitter page and started talking to him marveling at it and the “uniqueness” of his messages. And IIRC, this was actually the second time they did that to him.

Add in Pam Shriver cajoling Serena Williams into live Tweeting something the other day (if you missed it: dingy Serena “forgot” to hit send), Shriver then used her next interview occasion to do a hard-hitting follow-up interview with Serena explaining her Tweets about locker room food rules.

Tee hee. This Twitter thing is fun!

Sidebar: I don’t follow Serena anymore, but I did look at her Twitter page when I was writing this, and I’d really like point out that she’s seriously just that rude to be Twittering away while someone is rubbing her arm. Also, many people might be wondering why she has over 400k followers, while Andy Murray and Andy Roddick are well below the 50k mark. The answer is that Twitter put her among their “recommended followers”. One email to Twitter by one of the guy’s web people and they’ll be swimming in marketing scams. Seriously.

Then there’s Murray. That old compromisin’, enterprisin’, anything but tranquilizing, Right on, Murray!

I feel the worst for him. Granted, the British press are the world’s model for over-hyping media frenzy (sorry U.S. of A, keep tryin though!), so it’s not a surprise they had to upgrade the Murray bandwagon to a cruise ship. But when he mentioned the Queen on Twitter, well, the press went ape-shit. Woo hoo! The Queen, the Queen, the Queeeeeen.

Look, the guy won Queens Club. He’s the first fake Brit to do it since 1938. Are you really that surprised HRM would send him a letter?

Lastly, I don’t really feel I need to point it out, but I will: You know it’s pathetic when Dick Enberg is talking about reading Andy Murray’s Tweet that he got a note from the Queen of England. Seriously, Dick Enberg? Is he on Twitter? Is that what it’s come to? Is he gonna start DM’ing me boozey late-night messages about what Mary Jo was wearing in the booth during the day?

Actually, I would enjoy that. Then I could forward them onto Andy Roddick so he could ask Enberg about it on live television.

Queen congratulates Murray [Reuters]
Eason at large: Andy Murray, Twitter and the Queen [Times Online]
Andy Murray on Twitter: the Queen congratulated me on victory [Telegraph]

If you see Roger Federer start taking more and more bathroom breaks during the tournament, we may now know why.

The man pictured here with the 5-time champ is at fault.

Alert the media to cue up the on-court microphones: We may have inadvertently stumbled upon the “Roger Federer Secret of Wimbledon Success”, the patented 5-time formula.

Nothing says The Championships at Wimbledon like a glass of Pimm’s and some strawberries and cream to round off a perfect day of tennis.

But that’s not exactly the diet of champions.

Wimbledon Village has tons of restaurants for your dining enjoyment. Many of the American players like Andy Roddick and the Bryan Brothers are frequent brunch eaters at Giraffe. Dmitry Tursunov gets his fill of Italian pastas at Strada, while Boris Becker is a near-permanent fixture at the more upscale San Lorenzo. Maria Sharapova loves Thai Tho, and they love her back (just check out the link for proof).

It’s also no mystery that the tennis players love eating Indian food when they play at Wimbledon.

Lleyton Hewitt, Serena and Venus Williams, Maria Sharapova, and Andy Roddick are all known to stop by one spot in particular and grab themselves some tasty curry in Wimbledon Village.

Roger and Mirka Federer have been calling Rajdoot, the local Indian takeaway, to deliver curry to them almost every night since arriving for the tournament last week. Mo Rhaman, a waiter in the restaurant (aka Fed’s curry dealer) personally delivers the food to the Federer’s when they call in.

Federer orders a chicken tikka masala at £8.65 virtually every time. They’re such a loyal customers that the owner even gives them a 10% discount.

Call it sympathetic pregnancy, call it a craving, call it what you will. The fact is that RF’s hooked like a fish, and it can’t smell good in the men’s locker room.

Roger Federer can’t get enough of Ruby Murray curry [This Is London]

Unless you’ve been living under a tree, or not reading OTB (seriously, WTF is with that?), you would know that Maria Sharapova’s ESPN The Mag cover issue dropped today.

Take a few moments with the former Wimbledon champ and “enjoy” some pics from the shoot right here.

Just remember to clean up after yourself when you’re done.

Oh, and if you can explain this freaky pink monkey photo, please do.

Masha played guest editor for this issue. Who knew she was so talented? I can’t believe she found the time in her busy schedule to arrange all the photos and ads, correcting speelling mistakes and bad gramorry, manage the editorial calendar, attend meetings and oversee the production of an entire magazine.

How impressive. If that whole tennis hobby doesn’t work out, it’s good to have options.

If you can’t read all of the tiny print here, ask yourself why you would do such a thing when you can look at the perrty pitchers. Sure you can read more here. Or you can read a sneak preview online here.

Or you could stop being such a friggin whiny cheapskate and go out and buy a copy of the issue for yo’ bad sef.

Maria Sharapova’s ESPN Cover Is Blown [OTB]
If I were in charge… [ESPN The Magazine]

Maria Sharapova Gets Her Edits On
[nggallery id=17]

Andy Murray’s been house hunting in London for a while, and he finally bought something.

For whatever bizarre reason he’s picked the days just before Wimbledon to move into his new crib.

Granted, it was like Britain’s golden boy was dragging a couch down a four-story walk-up with some buddies on the promise of beer and pizza, but you have to admit that the dude has timing cajones.

Murray’s moved out of his sparsely furnished riverside apartment and is moving on up in style and in with his girlfriend Kim Sears, who’s been assigned the task of organizing while he’s out hitting yellow flannels.

The new digs are nothing to scoff at. It’s an 11,000 sq ft new gated family house that was just finished this winter. It features seven reception areas; the master bedroom suite comes complete with his and hers dressing areas, seating/TV area, a Juliette balcony. There are five further double bedrooms, six bathrooms, a nanny suite ((cough)), an indoor swimming pool with jacuzzi, sauna, and a gymnasium that overlooks the pool, a library and a movie theater.

This is big step up for the 21 year old Muzzah. The junk the movers pulled out of his apartment included “a huge cuddly toy versions of Winnie the Pooh, Tigger and Eeyore, a Space Invaders arcade machine, several PlayStations and a Team GB bag”.

If you think you should pop in to see Kim and Andy for tea or stalking, be aware that it’s rigged with a state-of-the-art security system, featuring video entry. Fortunately the police are used to coming by.

So how does Andy Murray get ready for Wimbledon? By moving house, of course [Daily Mail]